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Yo' Mama's So Fat...

 

Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
Yo mama's so fat n black, she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was an oil spill.
Yo mama's so fat that she has TB... two bellies.
Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!
Yo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.
Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.
Yo mama's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seat belts.
Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that says: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
Yo mama's so fat, and her back is so crooked, when she lays down...people say "I didn't know we had mountains."
Yo mama's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.
Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
Yo mama's so fat, but I fucked her anyway.
Yo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.
Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirits.
Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks.
Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her.
Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
Yo mama's so fat, God created her, and on the seventh day he rested.
Yo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman.
Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.
Yo mama's so fat, her belt size is the equator.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is rocky-road.
Yo mama's so fat, her car is made of spandex.
Yo mama's so fat, her car is made out of spandex.
Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.
Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
Yo mama's so fat, her favorite blouse is a tent.
Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn."
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs, cover her feet like a blanket.
Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.
Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.
Yo mama's so fat, her tailor takes her measurements in light years.
Yo mama's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial.
Yo mama's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat.
Yo mama's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her.
Yo mama's so fat, I had to roll over twice to get off of her.
Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.
Yo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.
Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.
Yo mama's so fat, I shot the bitch and Crisco came out.
Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!
Yo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test!
Yo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance!
Yo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.
Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levi's 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
Yo mama's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.
Yo mama's so fat, I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass.
Yo mama's so fat, Jenny Craig did a credit check.
Yo mama's so fat, last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a hard on.
Yo mama's so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer.
Yo mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her.
Yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
Yo mama's so fat, on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.
Yo mama's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.
Yo mama's so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.
Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama's so fat, she ain't on a diet, she's on a triet... She be like "What y'all eating? I'll try it!"
Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out.
Yo mama's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.
Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't just work one corner, she has to work all four.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't lose weight, only find it.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Daisy Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs.
Yo mama's so fat, she could go a week without eating and still not lose weight.
Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.
Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.
Yo mama's so fat, she don't eat Wheat Thins, she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama's so fat, she don't know whether she's walking or rolling.
Yo mama's so fat, she don't wear a G-String, she wears an A, B, C, D, E, F, G-String.
Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.
Yo mama's so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish.
Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.
Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama's so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
Yo mama's so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled "Land Ho!"
Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water.
Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
Yo mama's so fat, she gets her toenails painted at Earl Schieb's.
Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.
Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay."
Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama's so fat, she had to roll over 4 times just to get an even tan.
Yo mama's so fat, she has 48 midnight snacks.
Yo mama's so fat, she has a greater gravitational attraction than a black hole.
Yo mama's so fat, she has her own area code.
Yo mama's so fat, she has more nooks and crannies than a Thomas' English Muffin.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change gears.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change the radio station.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to use sleeping bags for tube socks.
Yo mama's so fat, she has two stomachs: One for meat, one for vegetables.
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the ocean jumped back and said "I'll wait my turn."
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the whales started singing "We are family!"
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama's so fat, she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub.
Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen.
Yo mama's so fat, she looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids.
Yo mama's so fat, she made Richard Simmons cry.
Yo mama's so fat, she made weight watchers go blind.
Yo mama's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.
Yo mama's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a Tic-Tac.
Yo mama's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.
Yo mama's so fat, she masturbates reading cookbooks.
Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big.
Yo mama's so fat, she needs a road map to find her ass.
Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Seattle, NY.
Yo mama's so fat, she plays pool with the planets.
Yo mama's so fat, she pulls up a chair to an all-u-can-eat buffet.
Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat in Big Foot and made it a lowrider.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a rowing machine and it sank.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on the corner and the police came & said "Break it up!"
Yo mama's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop.
Yo mama's so fat, she shows up on radar.
Yo mama's so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number.
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said "Please step out of the car."
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the fuck off."
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her "Sorry, we don't do livestock."
Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d.
Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a kiddie slide for a shoe horn.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses diet soap.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket.
Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.
Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a new world.
Yo mama's so fat, she was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a hula-hoop for a belly-button ring.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears an asteroid belt.
Yo mama's so fat, she went on a light diet... As soon as it's light she starts eating.
Yo mama's so fat, she went on a seafood diet... Whenever she saw food she ate it.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of gravy.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to sit down and the chair begged for mercy.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to Sizzler and got a group discount.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!
Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's in feet.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got Amtrak tattooed on her leg.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo mama's so fat, she's half Indian, half Irish, and half American.
Yo mama's so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit.
Yo mama's so fat, she's not kidding when she says "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!"
Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
Yo mama's so fat, she's taller lying down.
Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.
Yo mama's so fat, the body snatchers called home for backup.
Yo mama's so fat, the earth orbits around her instead of the sun.
Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign.
Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Jordache jeans is real.
Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale.
Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is the dressing rooms.
Yo mama's so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.
Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.
Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes.
Yo mama's so fat, they call her "Big Fat Ho."
Yo mama's so fat, they changed my Physics book to say "What goes up must come down, except Yo mama."
Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World.
Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
Yo mama's so fat, they had to install speed bumps at the all-u-can-eat buffet.
Yo mama's so fat, they have to run a relay race to get her belt through her belt loops.
Yo mama's so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.
Yo mama's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.
Yo mama's so fat, we got her in the drive-in free by dressing her as a Chevy.
Yo mama's so fat, we're inside her right now.
Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing up.
Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my ass on the light bulb.
Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her.
Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in.
Yo mama's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to fuck her I didn't know if I was hitting the hole or a roll.
Yo mama's so fat, when I was done I rolled over, over again, and I was still on top of the bitch.
Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.
Yo mama's so fat, when it says all-u-can-eat it still ain't enough.
Yo mama's so fat, when my dog went to fuck her he had to peel too many fat rolls and said "Fuck It."
Yo mama's so fat, when she auditioned for a part in "Indiana Jones," she got the part as the big rolling ball.
Yo mama's so fat, when she backs up she beeps.
Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.
Yo mama's so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains."
Yo mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
Yo mama's so fat, when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter scale.
Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fart the whole planet came out.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell down the stairs, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fills up the tub, she fills up the tub.
Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued."
Yo mama's so fat, when she gets out of the car, she leaves stretch marks.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders "Thank You, Come Again."
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the beach, little kids yell "Free Willy, Free Willy."
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks "Where can I try that on?"
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings.
Yo mama's so fat, when she got on the bus she turned it into a low rider.
Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.
Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
Yo mama's so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear."
Yo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says "I give up!"
Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her a dinosaur.
Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her the key to the store.
Yo mama's so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water tower.
Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she play offense and defense.
Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she plays the interior line.
Yo mama's so fat, when she put on some BVD's by the time they reached her waist they spelled "BouleVarD."
Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Yo mama's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.
Yo mama's so fat, when she saw a yellow bus going down the road she yelled "Hey! Stop that Twinkie."
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on.
Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says "One at a time, please."
Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool.
Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
Yo mama's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"
Yo mama's so fat, when she travels, she's gotta make two trips.
Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
Yo mama's so fat, when she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo, people walked by and said "Look at the elephant!"
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks across the living room, the radio skips.
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street everyone yells "Earthquake!"
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street, you can hear her hips saying to each other "If you let me by, I'll let you pass."
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks in front of the T.V., you miss 5 minutes of your show.
Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth certificate, she got blue prints.
Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
Yo mama's so fat, when she was walking in her jeans I swear I smelled something burning.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a purple sweater people call her "Barney."
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool-Aid Man."
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, kids think its the school bus.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call her "Taxi!"
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don't show.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears heels, they're flats by the afternoon.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her ass back in the water.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the Rose Parade they thought she was a float.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.
Yo mama's so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen.
Yo mama's so fat, when the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she wanted, she said the one on the roof.
Yo mama's so fat, when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them.
Yo mama's so fat, when yo father fell in love with her he got lost.
Yo mama's so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop.
Yo mama's so fat, Yo father didn't know whether to fuck her or take the burro ride down.
Yo mama's so fat, you can pinch an inch on her forehead.
Yo mama's so fat, you can smack it up, flip it, and rub it down all at the same time.
Yo mama's so fat, you can't even see her legs, it just looks like she's gliding across the floor.
Yo mama's so fat, you could go swimming in her bra.
Yo mama's so fat, your daddy had to roll her in flower and look for the wet spot.

As always, we love to hear your jokes.  To accomplish this, we've set up a special discussion board where my site visitors can share jokes with one another.  To enter my board, click the link below.

 

 

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