A man decided to have a face lift for his 50th birthday. He spends
$5,000 and feels really good about the result.
On his way home he stops at a newsstand
and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind
me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 50," the man says happily.
A little while later he goes to McDonalds for lunch and asks the order taker the same
question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess that you're 29?"
"Nope, I am actually 50." He's starting to feel really good about himself.
While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young
there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with
your balls for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age." As there was no
one else around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are 50."
Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."