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The Joke Log - Submitted Joke

Headache Relief

As Joe got older, he was increasingly hampered by incredibly painful headaches. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who said he had a cure: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration."

Well, you can imagine how Joe reacted. But the doctor was convincing: "You have a very rare condition that causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was flabbergasted, but if this was the only way to relieve the pain, he decided he'd go under the knife.

A week later, Joe left the hospital, depressed about his recent operation. As he walked past a men's clothing store he thought, "I know. I'll buy a new suit. Maybe that will cheer me up."

Stepping into the store, he told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The salesman eyed him briefly and said: "Let's see -- that's a size 44 long."

Joe couldn't believe it. "That's right! How did you know?"

"It's my job," he said. "And you'll also be wanting a new shirt, I'm sure -- 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck."

Joe was amazed. "Yes, that's exactly right. How did you know?"

"It's my job," said the salesman, matter-of-factly. "And you'll need a pair of 9-1/2 shoes. Extra wide."

You could have bowled Joe over with a feather. "Absolutely. What about a new hat? What size hat would I need?"

The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see ... 7-5/8."

Joe had never seen such a thing in his life. He put on the hat and it fit perfectly. "I'll also need some underwear."

The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist, and said, "No problem. That's a size 36."

Joe broke into a broad grin. "No way," he said. "I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head. "Oh no, you can't wear a size 34. That would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache!"

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