A man walks in to the country store and asks the clerk for a package of
condoms. The clerk asks "what size are you"?"I dunno" replies the man.
the clerk tells him to go out back where there is a ply-wood fence with numbered holes in
it. He is told to stick it in various holes to determine his size.Well, this big 'ol fat
girl sees the man heading out back and runs around behind the fence. As soon as the man
sticks it thru the hole, the fat girl picks up her moo-moo and backs up to the fence.
A while later the man returns and the clerk asks him "Well, what size will it
be"? "Ah, forget them" the man replies, "I'll just take 3 sheets of
These two guys had just gotten divorced and they swore they would never
have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up
to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again.
They got up there and went into a trader's store and told him, "Give us enough
supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top
of each one's supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The
guys said "What's that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where you're
going there are no women and you might need this."
They said "No way! We've sworn off women for life!" The trader said,"
Well. take the boards with you, and if you don't use them I'll refund your money next
year. "Okay," they said and left.
Next year this guy came into the trader's store and said "Give me enough supplies
to last one man for one year." The trader said "Weren't you in here last year
with a partner?"
"Yeah" said the guy.
"Where is he?" asked the trader.
"I shot him" said the guy.
"I caught him in bed with my board."